Lori Barkus, P.A. 2883 Executive Park Drive, Suite 103A, Weston, FL 33331

Tel: (954) 349-7988 Fax: (954) 349-8088

Frequently Asked Questions Concerning Collaborative Law

1. I would like to participate in the process, but I do not feel that my spouse will be receptive to the idea and I do not trust him/her to participate meaningfully in the process. Is it a better idea for me to just go to Court?

The real question here is whether you have more faith in the judicial process. Many people feel that they have no other option than to go to Court.  People often choose to go to Court out of fear and a feeling that the judge will protect their rights. But filing a lawsuit and going to Court is not a guarantee that your spouse will participate meaningfully in the process or that you will receive the relief sought.  Parties to a tradtional divorce are also limited by the options a judge can provide and are bound by the decisions of the judge.  In the collaborative process, the parties recognize their role in creating solutions to issues in dispute and working towards a mutually beneficial resolution.  Since both parties have an incentive in the collaborative process, this increases the chance that the parties will participate meaningfully in the process.  The collaborative process requires a commitment to open and honest comnunication and allows the parties to reach their own solutions.  There will be no decisions made unless both parties agree. This creates a safe environment that eliminates the fear and need for protection.

2. If we could communicate, we would not be getting divorced. How can I sit down and negotiate with my soon to be ex and expect him/her to do the same?

One of the frequent issues associated with divorce is a lack of trust.  In the collaborative process, lawyers assist parties in creating a new form of trust, known as process trust.  The collaborative model focuses on a system of promises made and promises kept. When promises are made and kept, a sense of trust is created. The parties to a collaborative divorce agree that their goal is to work towards a solution that is beneficial to both of them and both promise to work together to achieve this goal, for themselves and their children. The lawyers help in creating an environment that is safe for both parties and ensure that the parties keep their promises to work towards this common goal.

Divorcing parents should also keep in mind that they will have to co-parent and that they need to learn to communicate with one another in order to effecitvely do so. One unfortunate byproduct of the traditional litigation model is that it discourages communication between the parties and creates such an unpleasant atmosphere that the parties often do not wish to communicate with one another.  In a collaborative divorce, the parties agree on how, where and when they will communicate and agree to eliminate hostile communication.  The lawyers and other professionals work towards ensuring that the parties keep these promises.

3.  How much does the collaborative process cost and who pays for it?

The cost of divorce always depends on the amount of time involved. But the cost of collaborative divorce is generally substantially less than the traditional method of going to court to resolve each and every issue. The parties and the lawyers discuss how legal and other professional fees are to be paid.  The parties can split the cost of legal fees, eliminating a situation where one party is in a stronger financial position than the other and allowing both parties to obtain effective representation.

4. I've heard that most divorce cases settle. Why do I need the collaborative process?

While most traditional divorce cases settle, many do so “on the courthouse steps”- far into the litigation process after much money has been spent. These cases often settle due to financial pressures and the parties opinions about what a Judge will do. Although a settlement is reached, generally, neither party is happy about the results.

In the collaborative process, parties do not settle out of fear or tension. Instead, the parties work together and often arrive at a mutually beneficial settlement. As a result, less money is spent, less stress is created and the parties are generally more pleased with the outcome.

5. Some lawyers who practice collaborative law will still go to Court if the case does not settle. Why are you insisting that you will have to withdraw if we do not reach a settlement?

In order to sign a Collaborative Law Agreement, the parties and their attorneys must agree that the lawyers will not represent their clients in litigation. If a lawyer refuses to sign this agreement, the parties can still work towards settlement, but the matter is not a collaborative matter.

A collaborative divorce lawyer is not just someone who knows how to negotiate and who settles cases. Collaborative professionals receive special training and understand that the process requires commitment by all participants. Some cases can require creative thinking and resolution, and this process can be difficult. When all participants realize that it is up to them to find a solution, all four will work hard and work together towards this goal. If one person can “pull the plug” at any time, this process will not be effective.

6. What information should I find out about my prospective collaborative lawyer?

It is important to find out if the lawyer you have selected is a collaborative lawyer. If your lawyer tells you that he/she will go to court if the process does not work, then this is not a collaborative process. A collaborative lawyer is specially trained in the process of handling divorce matters without litigation.

It is also important to find out about the training your lawyer has received in the collaborative process. At this time, the Florida Bar does not require training for lawyers or other professionals who hold themselves out as Collaborative Lawyers. The Collaborative Family Lawyers of South Florida requires that its members participate in collaborative training. In addition, The International Academy of Collaborative Professionals maintains a website of its members and is a good resource for researching the collaborative credentials of a prospective attorney.

The hiring of a lawyer is an important decision that should not be based solely upon advertisements. Before you decide, ask us to send you free written information about our qualifications and experience. This web site is designed for general information only. The information presented at this site should not be construed to be formal legal advice nor the formation of a lawyer/client relationship.

If you have questions regarding collaborative divorce, please email or call us to set up a consultation.  For a faster response, please fill out our contact form.